Staying healthy at the Edinburgh Festival

We're over the half way mark in Edinburgh, some have fallen to illness, sore throats and even bruised or broken hearts. Staying physically and mentally healthy during Edinburgh is quite a task whilst we peddle our performances for the entertainment of audiences and the critique of critics who may or may not like what they believe satiates their own diverted ambitions that became writing on the internet.

Being the eternal naive optimist that I am, I've kept a strong discipline in staying healthy through a combination of exercise, diet and positive thinking during this physically and mentally challenging time of the Edinburgh Festival, in which I have the added bonus feature of observing Ramadan.

So, allow me to share some of my health tips on how to keep in a great state during the festival -

1: EXERCISE
I keep my muscles ripped during the festival with a simple daily routine using the convenience of my bedroom door using the revolutionary Iron Gym, an exercise device that has been constructed from almost random bits of metal and compiled by a genius who figured out how to fix such equipment to a door frame without the need for drilling or planning permission.

Check the guns...

...now check the armour.

2: DIET
Despite having such a light frame which has made me the victim of casual insults from those who envy my lightening fast metabolism, I eat healthily during the festival, often switching between pasta, kebabs and Nando's, you know, the important food groups. In addition to this strict diet of carbohydrates and protein, I supplicate my meals with a daily routine of whey protein, Berocca and Seven Seas cod liver oil + multivitamins. This combination of food and drugs gives me loads of energy to burn, alongside my 9 tails chakra.

Berocca is sometimes like Senzu beans.

3: POSITIVE MINDSET
The Edinburgh Festival is the biggest arts festival in the world, however it is also a trade fair and the more astute business minded individuals will understand the importance of bringing a corporate professionalism to the table, one that I learnt from my many years in the video games business. Observing Ramadan always encourages me to remember how fortunate I am for what I have, and that the daylight hunger is only really a slight discomfort in the greater scope of the blessings and fortunes I have in my life. The attitude of gratitude is the first step to develop real wealth, then it's all about hard work, and I'm here to do my best, learn from my mistakes, become better and become the success I dream of becoming. Only a few years ago I was broke, feeling overwhelmed by the inadequacies in every area of my life and feeling way out of my depth as a comedian at this festival. All of that changed very fast because I had a very clear goal, developed a detailed strategy and took massive Anthony Robbins-style action.

"I'M RICH BIATCH!!"

If I can do it, you can do it. Break the rules, beat the system, become whatever you can dream...